It's true what they say that the first night with your baby you should sleep.. but you wont, you will lay or sit there and stare at your beautiful creation and somehow not be tired 😍 This is exactly what I did, if I closed my eyes I was like a kid trying to sleep on Christmas eve - they would ping back open!
Hospital | ❤
Post birth, stitches and family meet and greets Brooke moved us to our room. Walking down the corridor she said to me something I wont ever forget "You should be really proud of yourself, you did an amazing job and your next one will be a breeze!" I giggled and for the first time actually thought about all that had just happened and I was bloody proud, I did it and naturally like I wanted, I also scoffed and looked at Nic and said mate she will be an only child 😂 apparantley you forget it all down the track though and will want to do it all again haha! We settled in and the midwifes helped us feed and settle and at 2:30am I sent baby daddy home for a sleep as that lazy boy was rock solid haha and unlike me he wasnt full of hormones keeping him awake! Then I proceeded to stare at my baby girl in absolute newborn dream land (and answer messages haha!) Safe to say when this mamas insta had been quiet for a day people thought it was all go!
We ended up staying a second night in hospital as birth care unfortunately was full (I was super gutted as wanted to soak up the knowledge and help there before venturing home but it is what it is!) Safe to say I actually only slept for 18 minutes the first two days so when you think sleep deprivation then add ten fold to that for a more accurate representation!
Naming Her | 💜
As you all know this was a pressure point in pregnancy for me haha and stubborn baby daddy won that battle, we had about 10x names for each gender and it never got narrowed down. When she made her entrance into the world in my head straight away I culled off a couple of names but then didn't give it much thought (anyone would think I had other distractions lol). It wasn't until each changeover of hospital midwifes shifts that they would come meet you and ask if she has a name and every time I would be like crap no not yet haha she's still Baby Fels! Each night in hospital we narrowed the list down slightly more but we didnt actually name her until we were a few minutes away from home after being discharged! We looked at each other in the car and said I think shes a Kinsley and it was settled. In the end we came down to a decision between 3 names
Kinsley - Nic loved how it ends the same as Ashley and we both love that we havent heard it before so its unique which is totally us haha! It's also a very strong name which will suit the sass to come (inevitable being my child hahaha).
Oaklie - This was a close second but a little more popular now days but will deff keep up my sleeve incase baby number 2 is a girl 😋
Lola - Safe to say after throwing it around it lost its appeal a bit to us as it's very cute and girly something I'm not really haha! I might get a puppy and name her that hehe!
Her middle name is Nico (pronounced Knee Co) which takes the two men in her and my lifes names (Daddy Nic and Poppa Nick) and modernises it a bit as one stems from a Nicholas and the other a Dominic so we couldnt take just one. This was settled from the get go whether we had a boy or girl and went nicely with every name on our lists!
So there we have it our Baby girl - Kinsley Nico Fels 💞
Home | 💙
This is a rollercoaster - you start with scared as that first drive with your precious cargo you shit your pants thinking every bump will hurt them or that someone is going to crash into you! But when you make it in the driveway it turns into excitement to show your little one there new home and you really feel like your about to start life as a family, your heart is full and warm. Then the first night your petrified you honestly think they are not breathing, they are going to die and that every noise is bad. Each little coo or cry sets off every nerve ending in a mamas body and you are on high alert. But I suppose thats whats to come isn't it, this new life riding the rollercoaster that is parenthood!
The best thing is when you wake every morning (is it classed as waking when you have been more awake then asleep the while night ha!?) They have changed, they are moving from this weird little swollen newborn to an actual baby who has features! Kinsley is a good mix of both Me and Nic so its exciting to see how she will change and grow!
The first week is hard, really hard. Your life has changed and like never before. Think of it like this... most life changing things change one part of your life or an aspect of it. This changes every little bit of your life or impacts it in some way and I had nights where I was awake with a screaming baby with no sleep and I thought to myself omg was I as ready for this as I thought? Can I even do this? Am I letting her down already? And I would cry and cry. Totally normal (my whole antenatal group was just as irrational haha) but be prepared, you are told its hard but just like knowing labour will be painful it's amplified more than you will ever know until its your turn! But the thing is its always so so worth it and your reminded of that everytime your baby looks into your eyes, or you look into theirs 😍
Lets face it - week one your basically a human milk machine with a new thing attached to your boob and if it's not its crying or sleeping 😂
Postpartum Mama | 🧡
When you give birth you dont just go back to normal, actually safe to say no one quite tells you how ugly postpartum really is for a new mama! Add a tear and it gets even messier! #luckyme You lose a lot of belly when you push that bebe and placenta out but you will still look and be the size you were at about 6 months pregnant, only difference being the belly is soft and floppy (so gross lol) not nice round and hard #notsomuchbumplove #nobumppicsplease you then have your old mate the uterus who needs to contract (YES F***en CONTRACT there is more) back down to size which is heightened when you feed over the first couple of weeks, not fun. Add into your mixture the goop and blood that your body sheds and comes out down there so your basically wearing nappies with your baby 😂 and then for me a tear that's stitched from front to back so down there is very sore and movement limited and slow (wiping isn't happening either its dabbing as who knows what I'll accidentally pull ha!) And then just when you think that's it you wake up dripping as yes night sweats are a thing ugh!! Sounds glam right - come on join the club you know you want to ;)
In my eyes the cruelest thing our body does to us is making your new bebe work for milk once they are dosed up on colostrum, which in turn means you dont produce milk until they thrash your nipples for 48 hours non stop around day 3 and nothing prepares you for this pain either! Honestly if your thinking of having a baby or are preggers start sandpapering your nipples until they bleed in the shower because thats basically what happens as they are not prepared for that latch (you think in 10 months of prep your body would have told your boobs to do this!?). They may not have teeth but it legit feels like they do! The cluster feed for us was day 3/4 and I would be in tears when she latched and my nipples would bleed and graze after, it was horrific but it does get better! I found someone hugging me while she latched made me feel better and then heat really helped make them feel nice again!
So yes week one you live in a little newborn bubble and it's a hell of a ride and so so scary but amazing. sleep doesnt exist (I had 10 hours this week) but you do get through it (no idea how but ya do!)
Most of all ENJOY the first days with your little one as they are gone in a flash and they are the most sleepy then so hold, cuddle, coo at your beautiful baby and know you are their whole world and you are doing amazing even if it doesnt feel like it 💜
-A x
The biggest support we have had is our family and we are so bloody thankful - Our family are amazing and have been by our side whenever we need, Kinsley is so so loved 💋
Tips for the week:
- Prepare a postpartum care kit for next to your toilet (it saved my life) then when you actually have time to go it's all in arms reach as it's so so important to look after you too! In this kit I had pads, comfy cotton undies, spray bottle of tea tree oil diluted in water, powder for down there and a perineum massage recovery cream (unfortunately the tear meant it just looks pretty in there haha)
- The BEST thing I took to hospital was toilet paper cause that 1 ply shit they have feels like sandpaper on that area after it's been through trauma haha, your soft thick stuff is like a 5 star hotel 🙌🏻
- Nipple cream is your best friend, lanalen based so bubs can feed without wiping it off (I used medela purelan although they should sell it my the tub not tube 😂) put that on every chance you get, beware it stains clothes so pop breast pads on too.
- I lived in no pants and pajamas while in hospital just needs to be easy to feed and comfy, so if your splashing out on new stuff to take go buy some Peter Alexander PJs or a nice robe so your classy semi naked when family visits ha!
- Ask hospital midwifes (and birthcare if you go there postpartum) EVERY question you have, get them to show you things and take any tips (good to have baby daddy listen too so he can remember for you as your brain will be overwhelmed!) As it's all so new and a lot changes so all information helps!