We survived week one and amongst the changes, lack of sleep, hormones and tears we actually felt bloody good about it and like our new life had well and truly started - Then BOOM 8 days old and we are admitted to hospital and it was the worst experience ever even though everything worked out in the end.
One morning Kinsley was asleep and when she started to stir she twitched, Nic to start thought it was cute then when I saw my face and gut went panic stricken white and I thought she was fitting but Nic woke her and she stopped. Later that day my sister was holding her and it happened again when she freaked out this is when I listened to my gut that I wasnt over reacting. To the GP we went because she also wasnt wanting to feed all of a sudden and had what we thought was conjunctivitis that wasnt clearing up with breast milk (honestly any issue you or baby have try your milk, its actual liquid gold 🙌🏻 sore nipples, baby acne, conjunctivitis you name it). My GP is amazing and she fully assessed her but really wanted a specialist to look into it all being as baby is so so little so things can escalate fast or illness can be very high risk so it was straight to ED with a referral to Peads (children's ED). Safe to say I was driving to distract myself and had nic in the back watching her like a hawk as I was way to upset to and FREAKING out. Bloody motherhood is scary enough without this!! Why is this happening to us!!
We were taken in straight away into a curtained room in the kids ED and had a nurse performing routine observations, but he was extremely incompetent and should not work with children little own newborns (we learnt this the hard way) it's like Kinsley was his test dummy and it breaks my heart thinking back on it, we should have been able to trust that they would look after our baby properly 😭
- He wanted to pop a pulse tracker on her foot (a sticky plaster with a USB cord attached) but she was distressed and wriggling and he kept saying "you need to calm her down or I cant do it" ummm are you f***en serious!? That's the whole reason we are here shes distressed and we couldnt do anything! (After multiple fails I burst into tears and demanded someone come help us that new what to do with kids and help him)
- He had to take blood samples to test oxygen levels and run tests, this meant pricking her heel and squeezing it (similar to the test done by your midwife post birth) well it took him both feet, multiple jabs as he wasnt getting a result and when he called someone in he wasnt even using the correct blood collection tab and didnt know how to set the machine!! By this point nics blood was boiling.
- He took all her clothes and nappy off to weigh her and then asked me to hold her for another test but failed to say she could have a nappy back on or give us a clean one after he took ours off so I then got pooped all over and all he could do was stand there and say there is a bathroom if you need, no robe offered, wipes anything (not that I cared as I was focused on baby but honestly!!)
They then had to do the next tests in the procedure room, I was pretty scared and worked up my this point and I couldnt bare to go in the room with to complete them, Daddy went with her and held her or was right with her the whole time 🧡 Honestly this man was our rock. So they had to take a urine sample (via a tube up her teeny vagina which also took 2 attempts when it was super simple!) more bloods for a full blood count test and cultures to test for bacteria, but cause the stupid nurse above had used both heels it had to come from her hands!! Safe to say some veins they nailed some they didnt but I could hear my babies screams from the other end of ED and it was like a nightmare, I sat there and balled thinking to myself I was so so sorry she had to go through this all at 8 days old 😭 Basically it took ages and when Nic came back without Kinsley my heart sank, what was wrong? Is it real bad they have taken her? Did something happen? Turns out Nic had asked to pause so he could come check on me and update why it was taking a while as he knew i would be worried, bless 💙
We were admitted to the peads ward for 2 nights where we all slept (Dad on a chair) and in the end she had a staff bacteria in her eye (treatable with drops) and her twitches are a super long name linked to sleep micosis so she does it when in a transition from deep sleep - still so scary!! She will have this forever likely but a relief knowing it's not linked to seizures or fits. So home we went yay!!
We had a good night and beautiful day being back in our family home but then I got a call from the hospitals doctor asking us to urgently come back as Kinsleys blood cultures grew bacteria in the lab meaning she could have a blood infection and they need to re-do tests to be safe as it could have just been a cross contamination from performing the tests. So once again my heart dropped, I broke down and proceeded to pack our bags as we would be there for a couple of days!! I dont think nic will ever forget the look on my face when I walked outside to him phone to ear, tears streaming and mouthing HOSPITAL. So back we were and this time poor baby had to have a full IV line put in her tiny arm and a splint to hold it so she doesnt bend and hurt it. Once again daddy was with her while mama locked herself in the toilet (only place I couldnt hear my baby girl). In the end it was just a contaminated test so Kinsley was healthy, cleared and home we went FINALLY!! Thankful I had one beautiful, happy, vigarous baby girl 🙌🏻
So most of this week was emotionally draining and it felt so good to be home after hospital for most of the week. Once home and relaxed Kinsley got to meet her first very important and beautiful people in her life 💛 Uncle Broccy & Aunty Lu who have watched her grow and spoilt her rotten and she has no idea ha! Aunty Amber who helped mama with all her pregnancy worries and has been mamas friend for a very long time and of course her beautiful God Mamas Meeks & Alice (Think this was actually week one ooops haha!) Was so nice to have our home buzzing with love again!
Safe to say the first two weeks flew by and Nic needs to go back to work - I am SHIT SCARED about this. You start to freak and massively doubt yourself, you will be alone and what if I cant settle her or stop her crys. Its honestly the most deep, raw version of scared you can imagine, the type that makes you doubt yourself and quiver internally.
Mum and Dad also went home this week (they will be back in the next couple of days) but this hit me like a tonne of bricks, they have been with us every day helping with the home, food, sleep, baby anything and everything and I hadn't thought about them going. I hugged and kissed them goodbye with my big girl pants on and then shut the front door and my little girl pants went on... I cried and cried and cried poor Kinsley had tears all over her, must've been like a rain shower haha! It's something about having your parents with you and your mumma who's been through it all there to lean on that is comfort but it has to he done I cant move my whole family back into my bedroom at mum and dads haha!!
Hopefully week 3 is a better one for this new family
-Ax
Tips for the week:
- Get an amazing antenatel group! Honestly these girls are like family 🙌🏻 We have a what's app group that's firing at all hours of the night when up with bubs, you will always get an answer or someone going through things with you, nothing is TMI and it keeps me sane as we are all doing this together.
- I find biting her fingernails when shes feeding or milk drunk after a feed is the easiest way to keep them short so she doesnt scratch her face. You can feel where their skin starts so you wont hurt them vs clippers freak me out incase I get her skin!
- Buy a nose plug or clip 😂 cause holey shit the belly button stinks!! They clamp the cord post birth and remove this within the first few days but then the drying up process starts followed by it dropping off ro make their bellybutton! But its gross, it's legit rotting flesh and it stinks!! It was amazing finding it in her clothes when it finally came off 🙌🏻
- Dont freak out when your baby pulls off the boob and there is blood in their mouth or their spill. Turns out they can ingest anything safely from ya! My nipple was so grazed from the get go that this week its started to bleed! Even though it's safe I didnt like seeing her take it in so we fed off the good one and expressed the other for a couple of days to mend it which also meant we had some milk in the fridge for her so to us win win!
- Have a sister who is a caker then you'll come home to fresh cookies after a rough hospital visit. Baby Kinsley loved them so we sent photos back that melted her heart hehe #thebestaunty being self employed has meant shes been there whenever we need, she is the best!! Keeps our fridge and pantry stocked, rushes out to get Kinsley clothes (I didnt have enough newborn!! Ha!) You name it she did it, thanks sis 💋
- Take help from your family!! If your like me and normally super focused, independant and like to have things up to date and perfect you will have two options... accept the help or let it go because your focus is baby and then you or sleep!
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