Being back at home after Kinsleys hospital visits was so blissful 🙌🏻 we got back into the swing of it and really started to feel like a happy, healthy little family.
This week had a lot of firsts for us - First walk, first visit to aunties, first beer, first time wearing sneakers in a few months hah! And it was all these little moments that I soaked in and was truly grateful for, as in those moments life felt a little bit "normal" by normal I mean pre baby life haha as I am still soaking in the new norm 😋 Its amazing how only after a couple of weeks you go stir crazy and fresh air and being out and about never felt so good!
Our first walk as a little family was around Hobsonville point as we then have my sisters as a base if shit hits the fan - because honestly the first time doing anything with a newborn you are nervous haha! So we fed her up, got her milk drunk then popped her in the pramb and away we went! We were shattered as sleep is still limited but the fresh air did wonders. The walk didn't do as much wonders for the situation down below 😂 gosh it was still a waddle and I wasnt even preggers lol and afterwards it hurt but I didnt care as it felt so good to just get out! This was when my sneakers finally fitted again BEST THING EVER I mean look at those ankles 😍😅 and that's still not 100% back to normal ha!
Nic picked me up from my sisters one night after work and had a few ice cold coronas in hand - this was my first drink in 10 months it was soooooo good!! And much deserved after the weeks we had just had (little did we know what was coming!) I only ended up drinking 3/4 after feeding Kinsley and then she fed a few hours later so all worked out perfectly!
Baby Kinsley met both her great omas this week it was soooooo adorable watching them cuddle her and soak in her cuteness 😍 Oma Fels had an adorable little pink cardi knitted by one of her friends at the village and we all had a lovely afternoon joined by the Fels family with food, bubbles, stories and so much love 🙌🏻 So amazing having great grandparents in our lives, Kinsley is super lucky to have them on both mama and daddy's side.
It was that afternoon that I started to feel a bit off, I was really tired and just wanted to cuddle Nic - I remember sitting on the floor in front of his chair and just leaning on him wanting to sleep. My headache from that morning had stepped up a gear so I thought it was just that. It just felt like such a mission to talk or smile and I all of a sudden wanted to hide away. A couple of hours later our house was empty we had dinner and I was on the phone to mum super upset 😭 I had developed an insanely sore left boob, it felt severely bruised from my collar bone to armpit and I could barely touch or move it.
Fast forward a few hours its 1am and Kinsley is crying in her bassinet next to me and I dont even have the energy to lift my head or open my eyes to feed her, Nic literally had to put her on the boob! I was dripping with sweat and my boobs were on fire but I took my temp and it was sweet (turns out my thermometer is just shit cause the hospitals one showed something sooo different haha!) I txt my mum with the balling emoji saying this was horrible and horrific because even though she was asleep I was so so sick it felt better telling her ha! The next morning it was straight to ED as we suspected I had mastitis - oma came and looked after Kinsley with expressed bottles so Nic could take me in because I was literally a lump that couldnt move! Mum had seen my txt when she woke and was straight in the car heading up from Ohakune.
I arrived to Waitakere Hospital ED and was admitted straight away with a temperature of 38.5°c and a huge red rash around by boob - I have severe mastitis and was hooked up to fluids and an IV drip of antibiotics immediately, eventually then transferred to Northshore Hospital (with baby daddy and Kinsley as my borders so staying with me). Mum and Dad came straight there and got us lunch and helped with bebe while we were being seen and waiting etc. We ended up staying in the maternity ward (Kinsley looked massive haha!) So we could have midwifes help us if needed too. Basically 3 days, 7 potent IV bags of antibiotics later they had it under control and I was FINALLY able to go home with a week of oral antibiotics - Driving out those gates I wished we were seeing the back of this place for a long while!!
Everyone puts such huge pressure on mamas to breastfeed and its drilled into you that breast is best, in antenatel class you spend a whole 3 hours discussing it vs 15 minutes on expressing or 5 on formula and bottles. All the midwifes, hospitals and even other mamas do too and it's not fair. FED iS BEST who cares how aslong as that little baby is healthy with a full tummy why should we be judged on how we do it? Maybe if we were more encouraging of this more people would actually do both or have a more beautiful experience trying to feed because they are not so worried about society's judgement and scared to be seen with a bottle in hand. Kinsley had a reaction to the antibiotics that were being pumped through me and we knew it but no one in hospital would listen as they want that baby on that boob! In the end she was in so much pain we as parents decided to give her formula until the antibiotics were out of my system (likely a week), and in doing this I felt sick, I had extreme mum guilt, cried and felt like a complete failure (I couldnt even feed my baby which is what I was made for) and you know why because of all this bullshit pressure from the world around us! Turns out it was THE BEST thing we could have ever done, within hours she was a complete different baby, back to her happy not in pain self and we could both recover properly. Once my oral antibiotics are done she will go back on the boobie but for now my breast pump is my sidekick and unfortunately that milk is going down the drain! Please mamas, non mamas, anyone be supportive of any way people feed their beautiful babies a healthy and happy baby and family is best not one running on anxiety and pressure because trust me there is already so many things with being a new parents that do this!
The one positive about these horrific antibiotics is that the also cleared up an infection in my tear while they were at it 😂 so downstairs felt AMAZING I was like a new woman and could now stand up without being in pain 🙌🏻
So a mixed week and hopefully the last of bad luck for us - we head into week 4 (holey shit one month already!) with a midwife check in on if shes gaining enough weight and nana and poppa staying with us while this mama fully recovers because daddy is back at work (I wish we were millionaires so he could stay with us).
-A x
Tips for the week:
- Put your feet up post birth too (best time to remember is when your feeding as its comfortable anyway!) This will make your fluid drain faster along with lots of water. I finally got my ankles back this week wooooooo! And i wore sneakers it was a very emotional and celebratory moment after having cankles that could only fit in slides for the last trimester 😅
- Go with your gut, mama instincts are in full force and you will always be right! (And Daddys instincts too). We were with Kinsleys reaction to the antibiotics and I wish I had trusted myself! Because not many people listen to a first time mum they just assume your part of the pack or overreacting
- Use Daddy as the human bed because he doesnt smell like milk 😅 once I've fed the little munchkin Nic then burps and settles her, it's amazing how she can go from so squirmy to peaceful without a boob in her face ha!
- If you are ever going to ED for you or bubba take an overnight bag because 9/10 you will be staying as they are always on the safe side with a baby so young!