5.5.Mama.Guilts

Ok firstly I cannot keep up with how many weeks old Kinsley is haha (maths was never my strong point) so the format of my blog titles needs to change before I embarrass myself. I still like the format of numbers first for when I look back in years to come so now being that I publish bi-weekly I will work in months and half months - So 5.0, 5.5, 6.0 etc. Anyway you probably don't give a shit but that's what this blog is literally me thinking outloud so #sorrynotsorry 💁🏼‍♀️

So five and a half months what did you have for us - Well it all kicked off with Kinsleys first Easter and being a long weekend we got to have Dadda with us and we road tripped down to Ohakune! Now that Kinsley is a bit older and in her big girls car-seat the journey was WAY better as when she was awake she was able to look around and play with toys etc. With the big girls car-seat also comes no front passenger seat hahaha so I had to be chauffeured in the back which wasn't amazing as I get sick and the convo is difficult between the front and the back. We picked Nic up from their work site in Karaka so we could miss the traffic out of Auckland, I timed leaving home with her lunchtime nap so we didn't get caught with a grumpy baby and then we just spent an hour playing, feeding in the sun at site until Nic was finished.

We got to Ohakune which was nice and crisp and Nana and Poppa had the fire going and everything set up for us all like a little hotel = BLISS. They have everything (besides clothes and Kinsley herself haha) set up down there so it makes it so easy when we have to travel and WAY less stressful! We had such a fun weekend mountain biking (Baby Dadda and Poppa have a challenge, yes trophy and all which Nic smashed the record on this trip wooooo!), walks and a spot of shopping hehe. Kinsley had her first Happy Hour at the Kings which she loved haha - Milk on Daddas lap followed by a dance sooooo cute!

What Nana and Poppa didn't know that on Easter morning the Easter bunny was going to personally deliver their presents - We dressed Kinsley up in an ADORABLE bunny suit that her great nana gave her and carried her in to wake them up and give them some mugs and choccy that we made! They of course thought it was amazing! I mean look at her though - I am of course bias but she looks sooooo f***en CUTE!! 😍😭

Over the long weekend Kinsley discovered her tongue muscles and that she can control them so every photo for about 4 days she poked it out haha it was hilarious as it also makes her little chin tuck up and the brickhead come out hahahaha! Me and Nic went and brought some LEGO brickheads just so one day we can tell her we now collect them because when she goes all cheesy she looks square like one 😋

Of course being Easter I dressed K up and took some photos (duh) and it was so much fun, the older she gets the more fun it is because we end up both laughing away and making games out of the whole thing - This time i was throwing the plastic eggs onto her and she thought it was hilarious, followed by her trying to squeeze them so they came apart (after it happened accidentally once). She also thought it was funny to see herself in bunny ears in the mirror (heart melt) her eyes would light up and she would giggle!

Being as we were going to be away for Easter we had a lovely day with Kinsleys Little Nana (What we call our great nana's) as it was also her birthday this month. She came and watched K's swimming class then we went for coffee and a walk around hobby point, she of course spoiled the little rugrat with Easter presents and It was so nice to just hang out with us three 🧡 even though we got rained on hahah!

5M is huge for development the little rugrats change so much and SO quickly. I now have a baby girl that chats more (with new sounds), giggles and smiles all the time, uses her hands like a grown up and is so interested in details! She loves looking at the labels on her bunny's and assess' everything you pop in her hands spinning it in full circles. She cam shake a rattle on purpose to make the sound she wants and LOVES it when she hears sophie squeak! Being so much more alert does mean she gets bored with her toys easy haha so I have baskets and get out some each week so they seem new! Her teeth must be SO CLOSE she is dribbling like Niagara falls, popping her rosy red cheeks and chewing on everything, every morning i expect to see her grin with a little white peg haha but so far nothing! She is progressing well with her solids too and loves pumpkin and yellow kumara, not a huge fan of mushy peas haha but she still eats them. next step is to start some protein into the mix - its so exciting seeing them explore tastes and textures - Not so fun when they have a spoonful of banana and it gives them bum wees for 24 hours (that proceeded to burn her poor little bottom and make it raw 😭) safe to say ill hold off the banana for another month or so until her digestive system is a bit more mature .

We also had ANZAC day and even though the parade was cancelled this year we took Baby K down to our local RSA (Nics family base) for a smaller service and celebrations. She was given and wore her first poppy (in the form of a sticker) and had lots of cuddles with her aunties and uncles. It was so cool having her there with us after last year trying to hide being sick in the bathroom haha #thankssweetie and something we will have her do every year with us and the family ❤ We then went to The Hunting Lodge to celebrate my beautiful friend Eby's birthday it was such a fun relaxed day with the crew and so nice to be during the day with Kinsley there, she loved showing off her smiles and selfie skills to the gals haha!

This month I had some serious mum guilt moments and Dadda even had the dad guilts haha! We had our first injury (on mama's watch) our first bruise (on daddas watch) safe to say no matter how big or small the guilts are HUGE.

Her first injury was cutting her little toes open on her play mirror (it will now have foam around the edge!). She was playing on her mat down by the mirror that she uses to look in etc (floor height attached to the kitchen bench) and I was in the kitchen chatting away to her (only could see her waist up) and she kicks her legs around all the time and sliced her toes down the mirror and it didn't even phase her so she kept kicking and blood went everywhere. I walked around the corner and the blood up the wall looked like my cat had murdered a bird there! I freaked out and flapped around (because she was smiling and not worried I wasn't as bad as I thought) and heard Nic arrive home and ran out being like quick shes bleeding!! after some dettol, plasters and socks she was as good as new so I then proceeded to burst into tears and keep apologizing to her feeling so guilty I had let her hurt herself 😥 Honestly the mum guilt is so real and its such a horrible feeling! It happened to also be the same week that I had been doing a bit of remote work for the agency I work at which had a super tight deadline so I was already feeling guilty for spending a day on my laptop half ass playing with her in-between. So crazy how connected you are to your babies and you just want to give them everything!

Nic also felt the guilts this week when he was playing with Kinsley and her head hit the handle of his mountain bike, she looked at him quivered her lip and then burst into tears (for like 8 seconds tough little cookie haha) he cuddled her so much and kept saying sorry (she had a wee shiner and bruise for about 30 hours haha).

We left our baby girl for the first time this month, we flew to CHCH for my cousins wedding and stayed the night of so Kinsley had her first sleepover at Oma & Opas. We stayed with her the night before as had to leave early and to ease her into it which was so nice as we had a big family dinner! I wasn't worried at all about leaving her with Oma and Opa as they are so amazing but I was just scared of not being with her, its a weird feeling leaving something thats been inside and beside you for the last year! I thought I was nailing being strong when i gave her a little kiss goodbye that morning (she slept in so wasn't awake like i planned haha) but then about 300m down the road i burst into tears that she wasn't going to wake up and see me! Then I had a giggle that the little b**** had a sleep in on the ONE DAY I couldn't hahaha #thesass 😂 and Oma sent me pictures all day with updates which I loved. She was a little darling and loved having all the attention on her from her grandparents, aunties & cousins hehe! She even slept in for them until 7:40am and then once back with me awake at 5am hahaha FML. When we arrived back I ran in the soon aand swooped her up into a cuddle and kiss and out came the brickhead smile hehe!It was actually really nice to have a night away (not that I got much more sleep as we partied haha) but not having to wake and jump up early was bliss, followed by a cafe breke and eating the food while it was hot haha! Our family also tried Lime Scooters round the city and it was hilarious watching the boys do burnouts and skids, so much fun boosting round town we were then known as the Limie Crew "L" hahhahahahaha (could this have a double meaning!?)

More musings to come when I have a 6 month old - OMFG half a year old waaaaa 😳

-A x

Tips for the week:

- Hilton Brown do amazing young tadpole swimming classes and they are free for ages 3-6M, enroll your bubba early as the wait-lists are huge and its honestly so worth it! Bubbas love them and it builds comfort and confidence in water early - This week we started teaching bubs the feeling of floating on their back with ears under water!

- 5M imms are way better than the 6W & 3M ones!! YAY! So dont freak as much when they come around hehe - They don't have rotovirus in this lot which is the yukky oral dose that actually gives them the virus and makes their little tummys and bowels sore. Kinsley smashed hers - Daddy came with us this time and she calmed on him straight away. We then had our flu jabs so she shared her bunny with Dadda as he had a sore arm too 😋

- Make sure on a bright day you pop a headband on your baby so they can pull it over eyes when they want to go to sleep, when you see this then leave it there or they wake up! 😂 hahaha JOKES SUSAN

- Get matching family PJS, Peter Alexander do some epic ones! We were lucky enough to be gifted from Aunty Jess the family "spoon set" consisting of Big Spoon (Dadda), LIttle Spoon (Mama) and Baby Spoon (Kinsley hehe)🥄

- Not a tip but Measles are FREAKING ME OUT! so many confirmed cases now in Auckland and close to where I live, such a scary feeling being unable to protect your baby until they are older and having to rely on others to protect themselves to protect her 😫

- Tinker Tailor kids have the most adorable personalised Easter bags and bonus they match the santa sacks you can also get! I got Kinsley one this year to pop her bunny and onsie in and in years to come it will have her Easter present and choccy in it each year - Super cute!