02 January 2019
Breastfeeding was a tough journey for me, it's a tough gig for all new mamas getting through those first clusters, waiting for your milk to come in and conditioning those nipples, but just as we got into a rhythm my supply started to drop. 48 hours later I was hit by mastitis SEVERLY, we fed through the excruciating pain which wasnt pleasent for me or Kinsley (or dadda to be fair having to hold kisnley and my head up) but then when being treated Kinsley reacted to the antibiotics that had to be pumped through my system and even though I did everything advised and in my power to keep my supply running for the week I couldn't feed her the world had other plans. I kept getting told that when she was being weaned back on it would pick up. Sadly it didnt, the more she fed didnt make a difference. I was so happy feeding her again and then she would be upset 20 mins after a feed and nic would say "it's a hungry cry babe" and I was like "it can't be she just fed really well" then she would sink a 100ml bottle. It was really upsetting and although we kept trying nothing worked and the day came where we made the decision to move to solely formula feeding. It was a sad time for me and even when we made the switch after using up our expressed milk stash (very small) I kept pumping every day to save every last drop for you my baby girl, it's in the freezer for if in this first year of life you get sick or we need it. That liquid gold is every last drop my body created for you. On the very last day of pumping I had a small amount in a bag, it seemed pointless keeping it (10mls from two boobs) as it would never be a feed but it truly was the very last drops so I did. I then thought about ways I could keep this (weird to some maybe but this to me is so so precious) and I have had it made into a beautiful ring that I will keep with me to celebrate that I did give you the best start I could and my body did do well if even only for a short time, I tried and I am sorry it wasnt more beautiful girl. One day though baby girl I will give this to you, because my body made this for you and rightfully its my very last drop for you and to you. Until then I'll keep it safe 💗
All my love darling daughter, forever xx Mama
A huge thanks to Ash & the team at ICE who worked with me to create this stunning peice, breastmilk with some opal fleck for a bit of shimmer. I feel so blessed to have found them so they could create a way for me to hold this close x
There website is below as they do amazing inclusions for all things close to you!
https://www.icekeepsakejewellery.com/